HOPE IS HERE

Domestic Violence Awareness Month: Recognizing the Signs of Coercive Control

By Dr. Lindsay Frey, Licensed Clinical Psychologist

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, a time to increase awareness, support survivors, and help individuals recognize unhealthy relationship patterns that may be difficult to see from the outside.

When people hear the words domestic violence, they often think first of physical violence. However, abuse does not always begin with, or even include, physical injury. At its core, relationship abuse often involves a pattern of behaviors designed to gain or maintain power and control over another person. One form of this is coercive control.

Coercive control is an ongoing pattern of behaviors that gradually limits another person’s freedom, independence, and ability to make their own choices. It may involve fear, intimidation, isolation, manipulation, financial control, monitoring, or rigid expectations. Because these behaviors can develop gradually, someone may not immediately recognize what is happening as abuse.

Signs of Coercive Control

Some warning signs may include:

Isolation: Discouraging or preventing contact with friends, family, coworkers, or other sources of support.
Excessive monitoring: Requiring frequent check-ins, tracking someone’s location, checking their phone, or demanding passwords.
Financial control: Restricting access to money, questioning every purchase, preventing someone from working, or creating financial dependence.
Controlling everyday choices: Dictating what someone wears, where they go, who they speak to, or how they spend their time.
Extreme jealousy or accusations: Regularly accusing a partner of cheating or treating ordinary interactions as evidence of disloyalty.
Gaslighting and manipulation: Repeatedly denying events, minimizing concerns, shifting blame, or causing someone to question their own perceptions.
Threats and intimidation: Using anger, threats, property destruction, threats involving children or pets, or threats of self-harm to influence another person’s behavior.
Punishment for independence: Withdrawing affection, creating conflict, giving the silent treatment, or retaliating when the other person sets a boundary or makes an independent decision.
Walking on eggshells: Perhaps one of the most telling signs is when someone begins organizing their life around preventing their partner’s reactions.

A healthy relationship allows room for individuality, boundaries, friendships, disagreement, and personal choice. Love should not require someone to become smaller, quieter, more isolated, or increasingly afraid in order to keep the peace.

Domestic Violence Awareness Month is also an opportunity to listen without judgment. Leaving an abusive or controlling relationship can be complicated, and telling someone to “just leave” may overlook concerns about safety, finances, housing, children, pets, or retaliation. Support can begin simply by believing someone, listening, and helping them connect with appropriate resources.

If you recognize some of these patterns in your own relationship, you do not have to wait for physical violence before taking your concerns seriously. Consider speaking confidentially with a qualified mental health professional or domestic violence advocate who can help you evaluate your situation and think through options for support and safety.

Awareness matters because sometimes the first step toward change is simply having language for what you have been experiencing.

Resources & Support

National Domestic Violence Hotline
Call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
Text START to 88788
Online chat and additional resources: thehotline.org

The National Domestic Violence Hotline provides confidential support, safety-planning assistance, and connections to local resources.

Love Is Respect
Support and education for teens and young adults experiencing dating abuse.
Call 1-866-331-9474
Text LOVEIS to 22522
Resources: loveisrespect.org

Florida Domestic Violence Hotline
Call 1-800-500-1119 for information, support, safety planning, and connections with certified domestic violence centers throughout Florida.

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
Call or text 988 for immediate emotional or mental health crisis support.

Emergency Assistance
If you or someone else is in immediate danger, call 911.

Dr. Lindsay Frey
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Finding Hope Wellness Center

Bullying Prevention Month

October is also Bullying Prevention month. Bullying is still a common problem. And may have even become more severe since the birth of social media; which has been a catalyst for cyberbullying. Educators, teachers, and parents can and should create safe spaces that promote positivity, inclusiveness, and respect. Research shows that almost 20% of students who are in middle and high school across the country have experienced bullying, with almost 15% being bullied repeatedly. The impacts of bullying can be long lasting and even spark the birth of new bullies or bullying behavior. Some individuals who are bullied, end up become bullies themselves as an inappropriate way to cope and regain power or seek retaliation. Some common impacts of bullying include:

Physical, emotional, behavioral problems
Depression
Anxiety
Decrease in self-esteem and self-worth
Changes in attitudes towards school
Suicidal ideations
And more

Some ways to prevent bullying include:

Educate. Talk with your children and family about what bullying is, that it is unacceptable, how to stand up to bullying safely, and how to get help from a trusted adult or resource.
Open Communication. Check in with your child often and ask questions to stay involved in their life. Learn about their friends, school, and understand their concerns.
Model How to Appropriately Treat Others. Show your child and others how to appropriately treat other people: which is with kindness, respect, and grace.

Here are some resources to learn more about bullying and how to report it:

ADHD Awareness Month

Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is a very common neurodevelopment disorder not only in Florida, but in the country. Neurodevelopmental disorder means that there are conditions that impact the development of the brain and brain functioning.

With ADHD, some common symptoms people experience include:

Difficulty focusing or paying attention
Fidgeting or difficulty sitting still
Interrupting others during conversations
Acting impulsively

ADHD can impact anyone at any age. It can make it more challenging for students who have ADHD in school as they are required to sit for extended periods of time, have to remember their class schedule and all materials for each class, keep track of assignments and due dates, and so much more. Today, the school system expects a lot from students and is not structured in a way that is beneficial or helps all students. One way to help your child with ADHD in school is for them to get accommodations, which can be done through obtaining an Individualized Education Plan (IEP) or 504 Plan. We offer psychological & psychoeducational evaluations to assess for ADHD, which could help your child obtain an IEP or 504 Plan.

Referrals & Consultations

If you work with a child, teen, adult, or family who may benefit from an evaluation or therapy, we would be happy to connect.

Please contact admin@findinghopewellnesscenter.com to learn more, discuss whether our services may be appropriate, or schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation with one of our providers.

We would also be happy to provide additional information about our evaluation services and referral process for your office, school, or organization.

Thank you for the work you do supporting children, families, and individuals in our community. We look forward to being a resource for you and the people you serve.

Warmly,

Finding Hope Wellness Center
Lutz, Florida
admin@findinghopewellnesscenter.com

New Year, New Goals, First Steps Group Therapy

A new year can bring excitement, but it can also bring pressure to have everything figured out. For young women, this stage of life can come with major transitions, changing responsibilities, new expectations, and uncertainty about what comes next.

New Year, New Goals, First Steps is a 5-week group designed and led by Ms. Chloe Patchin, Mental Health Counselor Intern, to provide a supportive space for young women to identify what matters to them, set meaningful goals, and learn practical strategies for following through. Participants will explore personal values, identify past roadblocks, create realistic SMART goals, build accountability, develop healthy habits, and learn how to stay consistent even when motivation changes.

Over the 5 weeks, participants will move from identifying what matters to them and what they want, to creating realistic goals and taking manageable steps toward them. The group will also focus on understanding setbacks, building self-accountability, recognizing progress, and creating a maintenance plan to continue working toward your goals even after the group ends.

Group Details

Dates: January 12 – February 9, 2027
When: Tuesdays at 4:00 PM - 5:00 PM
Location: Finding Hope Wellness Center, Lutz, Florida

Address: 4955 Van Dyke Rd Lutz, FL 33558
Population: Young women, ages 18–22
Registration Deadline: January 10, 2027
Insurance Accepted: Aetna, Cigna, United Healthcare/ Optum

Interested in Joining?

Participants will first complete a brief screening form to help determine whether the group is an appropriate fit. If you have questions before registering, Finding Hope Wellness Center is also offering a free 15-minute phone consultation to discuss the group and answer questions.

For registration or questions:
Call- 813.400.3447
Email- admin@findinghopewellnesscenter.com
Registration Screener Link- https://forms.gle/8ZxRpF9u4eQxUoPPA

You don't need to have everything figured out. You just need a place to start.

Book Pick from Our Team

Urgings of the Heart Book Summary; by Chloe Patchin

Urgings of the Heart: A Spirituality of Integration by Wilkie Au and Noreen Cannon is a book that brings together Christianity and psychology to explore what it means to become a more whole and integrated person. Drawing from Christian spirituality and Carl Jung’s psychological concept of the “shadow self,” the authors encourage readers to become more aware of the parts of themselves they may avoid, reject, or have difficulty accepting. Rather than viewing personal growth as becoming perfect or eliminating the parts of ourselves we dislike, the book focuses on developing greater self-awareness and learning to integrate the different parts of who we are. The authors explore how psychological and spiritual growth can work together to help us live more authentically and experience greater peace with ourselves, others, and God.

One of the aspects of the book I found particularly interesting was its discussion of patterns that can interfere with growth, including perfectionism, workaholism, and envy. These are behaviors and thought patterns that can sometimes appear positive on the surface but may actually be connected to deeper struggles with self-worth, comparison, control, or a need for approval. For example, perfectionism can make us feel that we have to perform or achieve in order to be worthy, while overworking can become a way of avoiding difficult emotions or finding our sense of identity through productivity. The book encourages readers to look beneath these behaviors with curiosity rather than shame, and consider what these patterns might be communicating about our underlying needs, fears, and desires. I think these ideas can be especially meaningful for anyone experiencing burnout, people-pleasing, harsh self-criticism, difficulty with boundaries, or the feeling that they are not “enough;” even though that can't be further from the truth.

I also appreciated that the book is not simply something to read and think about—it encourages reflection and application. Throughout the book, readers are invited to examine their own experiences and consider how the concepts show up in their relationships, work, faith, and everyday lives. For mental health professionals, I think this book offers an interesting perspective on integrating psychological and spiritual growth, particularly when working with clients who view their Christian faith as an important part of their identity and request their faith to be included in counseling. For clients, it can provide a compassionate framework for understanding themselves with greater honesty while recognizing that growth does not require perfection. Ultimately, Urgings of the Heart offers an invitation to become more comfortable with our whole selves—including the parts we may normally try to hide—and to approach personal growth with greater self-awareness, compassion, and openness.

💚 In the Spotlight: Dr. Lindsay Frey on News Channel 8's Bloom TV

In recognition of World Mental Health Day, we're proud to share that Dr. Lindsay Frey, owner of Finding Hope Wellness Center and licensed clinical psychologist, was recently featured on News Channel 8's Bloom TV!

During the interview, Dr. Frey shared valuable insights on the importance of advocating for your mental health, recognizing when additional support may be needed, and embracing a simple but powerful message: Mental health is health.

At Finding Hope Wellness Center, we believe that open conversations are essential to breaking the stigma surrounding mental health. We're committed to creating a supportive community where individuals feel empowered to prioritize their emotional well-being and seek help when they need it.

We invite you to watch Dr. Frey's interview and join us in continuing this important conversation.

🎥 WATCH DR. FREY'S FULL INTERVIEW HERE

Your mental health matters. Your voice matters. And asking for help is always a step in the right direction.

We HOPE you have a great month!

admin@findinghopewellnesscenter.com

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